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Experience description:

  Since I was a child I knew how to read the fortune from cards...I learn this from my family...but I was only doing it for myself, for fun, just like most of the people are reading the horoscope in daily newspapers, without really believing in it....

I am a young woman and you know, most of my questions when I was reading my future from the cards were: Will I ever get married? With whom? When? Will I get a better job or a better salary?...etc...

I was in love with a man...Erick...We loved each other very much and we decided to get married....We supposed to get married in the summer of 2002...I was reading my fortune from my cards when I was alone in my room...asking questions about my sweet Erick, you know, normal questions for a young lady...and in my packet of cards, Erick was the card that represented a king with a red heart...

Last October, one week after my birthday, Erick committed suicide...I was shocked, I was destroyed...I loved him so much and I couldn't admit that what happened was for real! Of course, I stopped my little cards games because of the pain...

The day I found out about his suicide I came home crying....I light up a candle to start praying for him but the light of the candle was making a very dark and thick smoke...I was afraid....but I continued praying for him....

I couldn't eat nothing for almost a week....I was destroyed, but one evening I decided I must eat something, so, I took some food, put it on a plate, and I put the plate on my table...I went to the washroom to wash my hands, but  when I returned in my room....all my food was on my carpet and the plate was turned upside down....and nobody was in my house, I don't even have pets, and the windows were closed, so I couldn't explain what happened to my food...

After a  few weeks from Erick's death, I told myself...ok....let me see what my cards are telling me now....I was on my carpet, crying...I took the cards from the pocket and I put them all on my carpet...My eyes were full of tears and I couldn't see the cards.....I took one card from the packet with my eyes closed....AND IT WAS THE KING WITH THE RED HEART, THE CARD THAT WAS REPRESENTING ERICK!

I told myself.....hmmmm.....is nothing else but a coincidence!

But I repeated the experience with my cards the following evening...and one card jumped up from the packet: THE KING OF THE RED HEART AGAIN!

I said...no problem! Coincidences are happening....

But I tried this again and again for numerous evenings and.....the only card coming out of the packet (even if my eyes were closed, or the light was off), was again, THE KING OF THE RED HEART!

I told myself....hmmmmm......logical, or mathematical speaking, a coincidence is not a coincidence if it happens always!

I have a good friend.....a priest....I invited him to my house and I told him what is happening.....He was laughing and didn't believe me.....

He took the packet of cards with his own hands and told me: "Ok, show me! I want to see if what you told me is real!"

I said: "Why don't you try it? If Erick is in this room he will let us know...I'm sure!"

The priest was smiling...and he wanted to give me the cards , but, suddenly, the cards fall down from his hand....they were all on the carpet...all of them faced down only one of the 52 cards was faced up: THE KING OF RED HEART!

The priest stopped smiling and he left my house...

Second evening, Pimen, the priest, came to my house again....He told me "I couldn't sleep all night long....I was thinking of what happened to me last night in your house...I want to try it again!"...and he took a pocket of cards that he bought (not my cards) and he put all the cards on the carpet...he closed his eyes and said "I really want to see if Erick is in this house!"...and he took one card.....without looking at it...it was THE KING OF RED HEART!

Pimen, the priest, turned yellow....he was breathless...he was steering at me...he stood up and left my house screaming: "You must leave this house! I  so much death around you! "And he left...He never returned to my house again....

Me...I repeated the experience again and again...and every time I touch the cards, no matter if is daytime or night time, the same card is coming out...the card that was representing Erick, my fianc...

Is been already 4 months since his death...and I had these experiences....I don't really know what is the meaning of them....I only think Erick wants to communicate with me...but I don't know what he wants to tell me or what should I do...I think I need someone to help me understand what is going on...

How long did the experience last?  few second but numerous times

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?  I don't know....I realize he wants to get in touch with me, to tell me something, but I don't know what!  The only certain thing is that his presence is because he loved me so very much...I can feel his love!
     
Describe:  I don't know....I realize he wants to get in touch with me, to tell me something, but I don't know what!  The only certain thing is that his presence is because he loved me so very much...I can feel his love!

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:  Experience was definitely real

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was shocked and happy!I felt his love! I knew he will never stop loving me!         

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Uncertain
     
Describe:  I feel his presence everyday and its like he is watching or guiding me...but this can not remove the pain of loosing him!

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
      
Describe:  I didn't believe in things like that before! I was a very realistic person...but now my point of view had changed...is like being inside of a room, you know that in that particular moment thousands of cell phone, radio and tv waves are passing by trough your room.....but you can not sense them or hear them or see them because the human body doesn't have the receptors to transform this waves into images or sounds...but if you cant touch or see them doesn't mean they not exist!!!

Have you ever made a death compact?  Uncertain
      Describe:  No...I never talk to Erick about this but we were always saying to eachother that we will be together forever, not only death will separate us! Love is stronger than death...he used to say that many times

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I don't think so.....I don't know...maybe...this cards thing.....but i'm a very realistic person...i don't know...

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I believe the spirits never die and they are around us all the time

 Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I'm more open to listening or reading the same kind of experiences

 Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  As I told you in my story, a priest was witnessing twice my experience. He was shocked and scared to death!

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No

What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  I feel his love and I WANT TO TALK TO HIM BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHAT TO DO!

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  Best part is that he is with me! I can feel that! 

Worst part is that I don't know what exactly he wants to tell me!

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?  Yes.  I need help.  This is why I choose your site...to share my experience with others smarter than me, who can give me help, tell me what to do...

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
        
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes